Thursday, January 10, 2013

Singing to the King Himself

As I was spending some time worshiping while cleaning tonight, this song came on my playlist and I found myself on my knees, weeping.

Let me back up some...

I LOVE to sing. It is something I've done for a long, long time. Over the years I've gone through periods of stupid jealousy, ugly pride, false humility, sweet surrender, and holding back regarding my voice.

A month or so ago I was struck with the great revelation that I connect to the Lord most easily through worship - and that's okay! I don't know where I got the notion, but for several years I had believed that worship through music was somehow a less worthy method of connecting to my God than other methods such as reading the Word and praying for hours on end. I would almost feel guilty for enjoying worship so much and needlessly reprimanded myself for getting emotional during songs.

Stupid, I know; so glad that's not how I'm thinking any more! Of course those other methods are just as important and using all areas of life to worship God is most beneficial, but that's another post for another day.

So tonight as I was sweeping the floor and singing at the top of my lungs, my mind was clouded with the many things that often cloud my mind when I'm trying to sing to Jesus:
"I better not sing too loud because that might be prideful or someone might be distracted..."
"Gotta make sure I don't sing off key because that would be embarrassing..."
"Oh wait, no one is around, I can just sing freely without thinking about what anyone would think..."

And before I had a chance to think about how ridiculous and distracting my own thoughts were and before I could make the decision to bare my heart before my God in worship and adoration, it hit me: The chorus was playing and the lyrics are, "Sing out, sing out, the King Himself is coming now..."
I suddenly pictured myself among a large crowd, awaiting the arrival of the King, everyone shouting their praise kind of like when Jesus rode into Jerusalem on a donkey and was welcomed warmly.
I found myself planning to hold back my voice to keep from overpowering anyone else trying to bring their praise...
I stopped in my tracks.
NO!!! That is NOT what the King desires from me. He desires my everything, my full volume, my reckless abandonment to praising Him with all of my being!

This is when I dropped to my knees and wept.
This is when it finally clicked: I sing for an audience of One.
This is when I fell to pieces, but knew that I was whole.

When I'm worshiping through song, I am in the very presence of the King HIMSELF! Nothing else matters. No one else's opinion matters. My performance and perfection does not matter.
I can sing out my love for Him and make my praise known to Him!

Last week we were talking about our vision as a church fellowship for 2013. One item we covered was stepping out in our gifts and not "sitting on" them, so to speak. (You can listen to Destiny Church's vision for 2013 here!)

I've always considered singing to be a gift and dreamed of having some way to use this gift to bless the Bride and, therefore, bless the Lord. I have no idea what that looks like, but I really don't care. I'm just going to sing my heart out to my King!

1 comment:

  1. Love this! Reminds me of my grandpa because my grandma used to say he "couldn't carry a tune in a bucket" but at church he would sing at the top of his lungs! Doesn't matter if we're off key sometimes...the Word says to make a joyful "noise" right? ;) I think it's the expression of our hearts that is so beautiful to the Lord. I usually close my eyes during worship because it helps me to focus on just me and my Daddy-God, but also I've noticed lately that it's a beautiful thing sometimes to just sit or stand there with my eyes closed and just listen to everyone around me, to be enveloped in the praise going up all around me and just be still before the Lord in adoration. Thank you for posting this. It sparked a beautiful memory in me that I think I will be writing about soon myself :).