This is what I wrote in my journal the other day...
I wish I could just get away for a couple hours to pray and listen and worship and think and plan and study and write. I want to bury myself in the Word and feast on the Truth I find there. I want to practice communicating with the Holy Spirit and enjoy His comfort, reassurance, rest, peace and conviction. I want to be whittled and pruned, refined and purified. I want the dirty, yucky, ugly parts of my flesh to be burned away, leaving only the beauty, purity and righteousness of Jesus reflecting in my being.
I am aware that these are dangerous desires. I believe I am already in the stoked fire, though, and releasing myself to these desires is the only way to make the most of these trials and opportunities to be molded into a more accurate replication of my Lord Jesus. I might as well submit to the flames and stop trying to fight my way out.
"Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, for you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything" -James 1:2-4
I read your first paragraph and thought, "That's dangerous!" And then that's exactly what you said next. ;) Dangerous prayers lead to good things and the Lord loves a heart bold enough to pray them!
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